


Lucky

by starrylitme



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Dangan Ronpa Zero, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Emetophobia, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Nicknames, Serious Injuries, Survival, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-08 19:03:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16435076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrylitme/pseuds/starrylitme
Summary: The zombie blinks up at him, one eye a foggy green, the other a misshapen mess of black and red, all while dark red dripped down its pale, surprisingly delicate face.“...Yasuke...?”Matsuda stiffens as it smiles brightly and widely. Like any other human.(Zombie Apocalypse AU in which Matsuda meets a strange zombie that only knows a few words. One of which being his given name. Based on the manga oneshot Liv by Kariki Hajime.)





	Lucky

**Author's Note:**

> I stumbled across "Liv" pretty randomly and quality aside, it just made me really want to write this despite not being the biggest fan of zombies. I've been developing a fondness for them as of late, but like...when they're humanized and stuff. Yeah.
> 
> I feel like that because it's a zombie story I should've leaned more into like, guro and stuff but I'm not exactly crazy about that kind of thing so it's unsurprising that in the end, the body horror isn't very played up. Oh, but it's still there. This is still a considerably gorey story. Like, comparatively speaking. I just...feel like there should be more of it. It's just a feeling I have.
> 
> Honestly, this could've worked just as well as KomaHina instead of MatsuKoma, but, like, I wanted...to write Matsuda...so I wrote...MatsuKoma... Sorry. Matsuda is also more eccentric, especially in this fic, so he's just a joy to write. Matsuda Yasuke is love, Matsuda Yasuke is life. Matsun, Matsun...!
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy! All comments provide sustenance! Happy Halloween~

_Well. That was a disaster._

Zombies may have been mindless killing machines, but humans themselves really weren’t far off. At the very least, he managed to scrounge up more food, medical supplies, and ammo just in case. But it would have been nice to get all that without the base completely falling apart all because one fucking idiot couldn’t speak up about being infected. Also, the zombies. The zombie horde probably didn’t help.

Nor did the explosions and ensuing fires. Those weren’t great, either.

Matsuda got out in one piece but everyone else was scattered both figuratively and literally into little tiny pieces. And that was...unfortunate.

_That was a **fucking** disaster._

But at least things were quieter now. Quiet and peaceful, giving him some much needed calm time to think after that boisterous fiasco of screaming, zombie droning and moaning, and blazing fire. Maybe this was a sign that he should just stop relying on people altogether.

_...but even I get lonely._

What an annoying thing to think. What fucking idiot’s great idea was it to give him calm time to _think_ again?

_I hope that fucker’s death was painful._

“Uhhnn...”

Matsuda perks at that distinct sound and readies his bat. Sure enough, a corpse was clumsily dragging itself towards him. It was crawling with just the strength of scorched, rotted arms. Its lower half was limp, the limbs bent in some unnatural places. Recognizably unnatural. He could tell it must have been paralyzed and broken from the impact of being thrown into a wall.

This thing was like this and couldn’t even feel pain. All that it could do was moan and crawl after him. Like this, could it get to his head? It would have to climb up his body.

Matsuda sighs and he steps forward. The thing reaches for him with a mindless groan. For a moment, he could almost pretend that it was pleading for help. Like any other human.

_I’ll still help you._

With that in mind, Matsuda swung down without missing a beat.

Even though he should’ve been used to it by now, the way the zombie’s head burst like a watermelon was still beyond sickening enough to make him want to puke.

_This is the world we live in now._

* * *

The whole zombie apocalypse was pretty recent, all things considered. Only about three years ago, really. Matsuda had still been working on his medical degree. He had a pretty clear idea of what he was going to do with his life. Be a doctor. A neurologist, to be precise.

Instead some weird disease turned people into brain-eating walking corpses. It might’ve been the universe’s way of making fun of him. After all, with his constant eye-bags and glazed over stare from constant all-nighters, the student council president had said he’d end up becoming an actual zombie at this rate.

Said president later fell to the disease and was the first zombie Matsuda ever killed. He was sick for days afterwards. Thanks for that shit, Murasame.

**_Urgh._ **

“...This looks safe.”

There hadn’t been a zombie sighting for a while, even if there had been plenty of rubble and dusty remains. And, certainly, the inside of this building looked like it had seen way better days. But it didn’t look like it would fall apart. And it looked as good a camping site as any.

The room he picks is an old break room. First, he barricades the door to be on the safe side. He locked it too, for good measure. No one should be getting in. He still needs to be quiet, though. Zombies were as sensitive to sound as they were dumber than bricks.

But areas like this tend to be pretty muffled. All things considered, he should be fine.

With a soft sigh, Matsuda lays out his sleeping bag and all his supplies.

“Haah...”

In times like this, all he can be left with are his thoughts.

_Tomorrow’s another day. I’ll need to find another base of humans. What happened really was...such bad luck._

But, really, he’s gotten used to misfortune and disappointment in his life. Even long before zombies became a thing.

_It just is what it is. Whatever._

Pitying himself won’t do shit, so he really should just go to sleep. What else is he supposed to do?

_It really, really doesn’t matter at all._

So much so that he wondered what he was living for at this rate.

* * *

“...su...ke...”

**Bang! Bang!**

“...a...su...”

Matsuda wakes in a cold sweat. And the banging continues. It’s coming from above. It’s metallic in sound.

_Fuck. The vents._

He completely forgot to take into account the vents.

“Uhhnn...”

_Shit. Shit. **Fuck**!_

He quickly scrambles out his sleeping bag and grabs his bat. He also considers his gun, but... It sounded like there was just one shitty zombie stuck in the vents. Just one. He could deal with one.

“Uhhnnn...!”

God fucking _hell_ a loud one that could attract _more_.

All the same, he prepares himself, swallowing as he does. The banging is on the vent lid. And sure enough, the lid is broken off and falls, clattering against the tiles.

And the zombie tumbles out and follows, landing in a heap with a harsh _thud_.

“ _Uuhhnn_...”

Matsuda steps up to it carefully, watching sharply as it struggles to push itself up.

“...suke...”

Matsuda stops, confused.

_Huh?_

And then, the zombie blinks up at him, one eye a foggy green, the other a misshapen mess of black and red, all while dark red dripped down its pale, surprisingly delicate face.

“...Yasuke...?”

Matsuda stiffens as it smiles brightly and widely. Like any other human. Or a dog happy to see its owner.

“Yasuke!!”

_...w...who...?_

“Yasuke!” the zombie chirps again, just in case Matsuda thought he imagined it. “Yasuke, Yasuke!”

**_Who the actual hell is this?!_ **

“...you can talk,” he says instead. “And either you actually do know my name or this is a weird fucking coincidence.”

_Not all that weird, all things considered but still...beyond fucking weird. This is a zombie we’re talking about. A **zombie**._

And said zombie continues to beam up at him.

“Yasuke,” it says again. It looks so happy. “Yasuke...”

Matsuda doesn’t return the sentiment in the slightest, staring at it with a straight face. After a while, his eyes narrow sharply.

“Who are you?”

“Yasuke!” it exclaims cheerfully.

“Where are you from?”

“Yasuke!”

“...can you understand a single word I’m saying?”

“Yasuke!”

The stupid thing is grinning so mindlessly, face practically splitting from its smile. Humming lowly, Matsuda’s impassive gaze sweeps it over.

Curly, wild white hair. Unnaturally pale. It was pretty common for zombies to look like that.

A dirty school uniform that was ragged and ripped. A green and red sweater vest. Brown blazer.

_Oh._

He recognized that emblem.

“...you’re from Hope’s Peak,” Matsuda said. “So, we were in school together.”

The zombie tilts its head, and then it lights up.

“...hope?”

“Hope’s _Peak_ ,” Matsuda corrected. “Actually, didn’t the zombie outbreak first start there? Fucking hilarious how things turn out.”

“Hope! Hope!” And yet, this stupid thing was chirping like a carefree bird. “Hope! Yasuke! Hope!”

Matsuda could only sigh, rubbing at his temple.

“Urgh, you sound like the old headmaster...” It was seriously starting to give him a headache. What the hell was he even _doing_? “What does any of this _matter_?”

The zombie was still smiling without a care. The zombie. With blood dripping down its face. With pale, sallow flesh and wispy white hair. It reeked of decay. Of death. And it was just smiling without a care.

“Yasuke, Yasuke. Hope, hope.”

_This thing is one of my former classmates. I don’t even know the name of the person it used to be. And yet, somehow, it remembers mine. But that doesn’t make a difference. A zombie’s a zombie._

He raises the bat.

_I should end the thing’s misery here and now._

With that he, swings.

That bright-eyed innocent gaze doesn’t falter. That smile doesn’t drop.

And Matsuda ends up stopping himself, the bat stopping just as it brushed up against those wild white curls. The zombie blinks up at him, and chirps once more.

“Ya _suke_.”

It kept on smiling as before. As if nothing happened.

It really was sickening. Matsuda covered his mouth, feeling the urge to throw up. Maybe it was the stench. Maybe it was the blood. Maybe it was that stupid fucking smile.

Either way.

“...you don’t seem terribly interested in attacking me.”

Of course not. The stupid thing was more docile than a domesticated animal.

“Yasuke,” it says, as if to prove his point. Rather than eating his brain, it only seemed interested in saying his name. At this point, Matsuda has to wonder which he’d actually prefer.

“...still not a human...but are you even fully a zombie?” He has to wonder. “You...what am I even supposed to do with you?”

It tilts his head, seeming confused.

“Hope?”

_Hope. Urgh. What an unpleasant word._

He really was going to get sick at this rate.

“...whatever. I haven’t gotten enough sleep.”

Without missing a beat, he throws the sheet over it.

“Ah! Yasuke?” It was looking around helplessly. “Yasuke? Yasuke?”

“Shut the hell up,” Matsuda hissed, covering its mouth through the sheet. “I’m gonna go back to bed and you’re just going to sit here like the doll you are. Got it? _Got it_?”

It was quiet. Not even making a muffled sound. It really was more like a doll. A stinky, moldy, rotten doll.

Matsuda pulls away and makes himself cozy once more in his sleeping bag. He sighs and shifts so that he doesn’t have to look at the thing.

_If it eats me, it eats me. I’m too exhausted to care at this point._

With that depressing thought in mind, he goes back to sleep.

* * *

He wakes up to a creak in his neck and something weird dripping onto his cheek. There was a beyond unpleasant stench in the air. His face scrunches up with a groan, and he forces his eyes to open.

“Yas...uke...?”

Not only was that stupid fucking zombie looming over him, it was dripping blood mixed with miscellaneous gunk onto him. Matsuda shoves it back, holds up a finger to signal that for it to wait one second. He makes his way to the corner, scrubbing his face clean before promptly throwing up a little.

“...okay.” Matsuda wipes off his mouth. “If you _ever_ fucking do that again, I seriously will bash your brains out.”

“Yasuke?”

It had its head tilted, eyes wide with all the innocence and without any amount of understanding.

“Just stay under the sheet!” Matsuda yelled, throwing said sheet back over it. “And let me **_SLEEP_**!”

The zombie was still and quiet again. Like a doll.

Matsuda pulled out some rope with a grumble.

“Urgh, just... Just...” With that, he wraps it around the thing, tying it up tightly and handily. “ _Stay_. Okay? Just stay and don’t...don’t bother me.”

“...hope?”

“I’ll untie you after I’ve gotten more sleep,” Matsuda told it. “Understood?”

“Yasuke...!”

“Yeah. That’s me. Gold fucking star. Now shut up and stay.”

“...uu.”

With that whine, the zombie’s quieted down again. Back to being a doll. A rotted corpse doll that was both covered with a sheet and tied up with rope.

Matsuda lies back down, sighing as he shuts his eyes.

_...what even the hell is going on right now? Well, what the hell ever._

* * *

He still doesn’t sleep terribly well. His back and neck both ache, and his stomach isn’t in the best shape either. He kinda sorta wishes he weren’t awake. Or alive.

That zombie is leaning against the wall, unmoving and quiet. Matsuda flinches when he sees it, but he quickly swallows, taking in a deep breath. He once again approaches it, poking where he’d assume the forehead would be.

“Yo, yo?” The blanket is stained with blood among other things. It’s sickening enough that Matsuda almost wants to puke again. Instead, he presses on. “Hey. You. It’s me. Matsuda Yasuke.”

It shifts. Matsuda hurriedly pulls back, lest it try to chomp off his finger, but then...

“Yasuke! Yasuke! Yasuke, Yasuke, Yasuke!”

It’s squirming against the binds pretty pathetically.

“Y-Yasuke...!”

Matsuda could only sigh.

“Alright, alright. Just stay still, creep.”

He moves to undo the knot of the rope, tugging it back before pulling off the sheet. The zombie wiggles, and the blood on its face as been streaked across its nose. It blinks up at him, and lights up like a kid on Christmas.

“Yasuke!”

“Yeah.” Matsuda waves at it. Somehow, that smile brightens even more. It really is...weird.

_Even before all this happened... It wasn’t exactly often someone would smile at me like that._

“...you wouldn’t happen to remember anything about Hope’s Peak, huh...?”

“Oh! Hope! Hope, hope!” Those eyes—both the good and the malformed—were practically sparkling. “Hope! Yasuke! _Hope_!”

“So that’s a no.” He shouldn’t even be surprised, but he feels slightly disappointed anyway. Disappointed and mostly at a loss. “So what am I supposed to do with you...?”

_The obvious answer is to kill it. It’s a zombie, after all. But that’s just not going to happen. Not when this thing insists on stupidly grinning up at me._

Matsuda sucked in air between his teeth.

_Should I take it with me...? Maybe, just maybe, there’s means for finding an antidote through studying this thing. If I just had my old medical equipment, I could probably crack open its skull and scan its brain myself. Even if it doesn’t reverse the whole zombie epidemic, it would be nice to find a means of making people not turn into cannibalizing monsters._

Still, that was one hell of a long shot. And it probably wouldn’t go over with the few remaining humans left.

“Shiiiiit. This is problematic.” Matsuda rubbed his temple, grimacing. “Then again, just because there’s no easy answer doesn’t mean there isn’t an obvious answer.”

_Because even if I tried to leave, this thing might end up following me. And I’m not wasting perfectly good rope on what’s nothing worse than a nuisance on its own._

“...guess I’m stuck, huh.”

“Yasuke! Hope, hope, _hope_!”

And just like that, the zombie was chirping over and over again like a particularly persistent bird. Matsuda tolerated it for at least two minutes.

And then two became ten.

“...it’s not like I really need _all_ of this sheet.”

With that, he began to tear the fabric, making a few strips that were stained with blood among other things. The zombie was watching him curiously, but it didn’t shut up.

“Hope, hope? Yasuke?”

Matsuda began to tie its wrists together with the strips of fabric. It wasn’t difficult, with how thin and skeletal said wrists were.

_Someone like this wouldn’t have survived anyway._

“Yasuke?”

It seemed confused by being unable to pull its wrists apart, but Matsuda moved on to tie its ankles too.

_Also thin and skeletal. Geez, did you take any care of yourself before all this?_

Well, whatever. It’s not like it really mattered anymore.

“Alright.” Matsuda pulled back to observe his handiwork. The zombie continued to blink up at him. “That should at least buy me time. Sorry, but with how noisy you are, it’s too dangerous for me if you tag along.”

“Yasuke? Yasuke, Yasuke?”

“So... See ya, I guess?” Matsuda gathers up his stuff. “Honestly... It really is a shame. If you had just been a human, I probably would’ve liked having you around at least a little. Sorry that we didn’t speak together normally before all this happened.”

He turned back to wave, sighing as he did.

“Still... Thanks for talking to me. Good luck to both of us, I guess.”

With that, he headed out, even as the zombie called his name over and over again.

“Yasuke? Yasuke, _Yasuke_!”

Matsuda quickened his pace even after that voice had been long drowned out.

* * *

_So some zombies turn out like that, huh?_

Even when he was a good distance away, he kept wondering about the damn thing.

_Completely docile, retaining some memory but not enough to comprehend anything... With how the body rotted, it’s possible that some of that is due to mental regression. That thing really did remind me of a puppy._

Especially with how eager and cheerful it had chanted his name.

_That’s creepy. Not too long ago, that thing was one of my schoolmates. What had he been like? Was he terrified when things went wrong?_

Such things were worthless to worry about. Needless stress, as if he didn’t already have so much to stress about.

“...urgh, seriously Yasuke,” he grumbled to himself. “That shit doesn’t even matter anymore, you _idiot_.”

_Is it just because I haven’t had a normal conversation with someone in way too fucking long? God. That’s beyond pathetic._

Yeah. He really should stop thinking about it.

There’s a light breeze. The sun is shining. The sounds of wretched groans begin resounding.

_Yeah. I have more important things to worry about._

Matsuda ducks in the bushes when he senses others nearby. Sure enough, there’s a small group of zombies shambling about, moaning and bumping into each other when they aren’t stumbling over their own two feet. Not that said clumsiness really made a difference—when there was that fucking many of the damn things in one place.

_Shit. Alright. This is one of those things._

He has to be careful. Zombies were dumber than bricks, but their hearing was sensitive. Too much noise and he’ll be pursued and zombies don’t get fatigued.

Matsuda swallows as he slips away as carefully as he can. Since no attention is on him, he can afford to go slowly, and he needs to take advantage of that.

Matsuda tries to calm himself as he shifts by, mindful of potentially rushing the leaves. There’s an abandoned, broken down series of buildings up ahead. If nothing else, he might be able to lose them in a potential maze. There was still groaning in the air.

It occurs to him, not for the first time, that he could very well be mauled and eaten here. It’s not a fun occurrence.

Matsuda squeezes his way through one of the crevices to get between the walls. It’s a hassle getting his bag through, but he manages. The building is lined with concrete, several parts cracked with the splits on the floor allowing for a garden variety of weeds. There’s a musty smell in the air—and also the stench of rot he associated with zombies.

_There probably are at least some in this building. Hopefully enough to handle._

Yeah.

That turned out to not be the case when he came to discover them crowding the hallway when he trekked down some stairs.

_Well. **Fuck**._

His foot caught on one of the steps as he jerked back. He just barely manages to avoid tripping, but one of the steps crumble, and the sound catches attention.

A loud, wretched groan behind him, followed by a sharp hiss. Matsuda’s heart jackhammered as he made a dash for it.

His stomping steps are resounding, but the groaning is still louder. The hallways are vast, and there are a few turns, but there aren’t any split paths and he has yet to see a window.

_Fuck, fuck, **fuck** —!_

Matsuda keeps running, and he’s panting as he nearly tumbles up the stairs. He stops dead when zombies practically throw themselves into his path.

_Oh. Oh no._

Matsuda flinches, a shiver go up his spine as gnarled, rotting hands reach for him.

_There’s no way to run._

He stumbles back, shaking as he does. He turns around for now, even though it’s not going to make a difference.

_I’m going to die here._

He makes a turn, narrowly avoiding tripping as he does.

_There’s no way out. I’ll get overpowered if I try to fight. And if I get a chunk taken out—that’s it. That’s it._

He comes across the zombies from before, still mindless and moaning, and he wants so desperately to bitterly laugh.

_This is it._

He steps back, still trembling. He can hear the shambling footsteps behind him. His eyes sting and he shuts them tightly, fists clenched and shaking.

_After everything..._

“D-Dammit,” he manages. “God...fucking...damn...”

_No one’s going to save me._

A groan. A moan. Hisses. Steps. Shambling steps.

And then, the ground shakes. And it crumbles.

_Ah, **huh**?_

And suddenly, Matsuda was falling.

And everything went dark in a burst of _agonizing_ pain.

* * *

“U... Uurgh...”

It hurt beyond belief when he finally came to. He was still shaking, his head throbbing and spinning. Nothing was broken, but he’s pretty sure he was at least bleeding.

“What...the fuck...even...?”

His vision is all over the place, blurring with tears. And yet, he freezes up when he sees that someone is looming over him, except...

“Yas...uke...?”

_Oh._

Matsuda immediately relaxed with an impulsive, broken laugh. His head still hurt like hell, but he felt such a keen sense of relief.

_It’s just you._

“Y-Yasuke... Yasuke... H... Hope...”

It was struggling to speak. Weird. Didn’t have that problem before. Ah. Was that his vision, or was that thing...shaking?

“...a...a...”

_A...?_

“...ou...ay...?”

Matsuda blinked. Once. Twice. Things focused. It still hurt, but he could focus.

That zombie’s lower lip was trembling, eyes downturned and glimmering. It was struggling to speak.

“A-A... A... A... Ar...”

“...are you okay.”

It stops, and Matsuda sighs softly.

_“Are you okay._ That’s...what you’re trying to ask me. So you do in fact have...some level of awareness...”

It sniffles at him. Sniffles. Like an upset kid.

“I admit,” Matsuda huffed, pushing himself with a wince as he rubbed his throbbing head. “I feel a lot like shit right now, but I’ve been in much, much worse. At least I’m still in one piece.” His fingers come away slick with blood when he checks the bump on his skull. “One bruised up piece... But one piece nonetheless.”

Now that he was sitting up, he could see more properly what happened. The building had collapsed, which was obvious, but what was surprising was how the scattered debris had crushed all the surrounding zombies save for that _special_ one. The others’ limbs weren’t even moving. It was a pretty gruesome sight.

The one remaining zombie whined softly.

“Y... Yasuke...”

Matsuda glances back at it, and then, he reaches out towards it. Surprisingly, the zombie braces itself as if expecting to be hit. Instead, Matsuda ruffles its hair.

The zombie stills, and he blinks up at Matsuda with wide, almost watery eyes.

“Come on.” Matsuda pulls back with a grunt, pushing himself up rather shakily. “I’m not doing great but... It’s not all that safe here. I can make a small trek to someplace where I can rest for a bit.”

“H... Hope...!”

“Don’t yell,” Matsuda reprimanded him sharply and the zombie shut up dutifully. “Come on. Let’s go.”

“Y... Yasuke...!”

“I just _said_ not to yell, you rotten fruit.”

At the very least, the zombie was eager to obediently skip after him.

* * *

He washed himself off in a stream. The zombie watched him a little too intensely, which would’ve been creepy if it wasn’t this particular zombie.

_I just can’t find him threatening at all._

“Uuu...” Those eyes are pretty wide. Making a face, Matsuda beckoned him closer. “Ah, Yasuke!”

“C’mere,” he said. “Let’s wash you off, too.”

The zombie nearly stumbled into the water, causing a splash.

“Easy, _easy_!”

“Yasuke, _Yasuke_!”

Matsuda manages, all the same, cleaning off that face so that the left eye wasn’t dripping anymore, even as it remained an unhealthy concoction of swollen red and black. The iris seemed in-tact, but at what cost.

“Gross,” Matsuda mutters as he looks it over. “That said, you look considerably less gross when you’re clean.”

_Actually... He’s a bit of a pretty boy, huh..._

Somehow that pissed him off a little, even with the zombie staring at him with such pure innocence before beaming. Matsuda quickly turned away, drying himself off with a grumble.

_I’m really doing this, huh..._

He gets redressed, only haphazardly buttoning up his shirt.

“Hope! Yasuke!”

“Hope,” he droned, unimpressed and tossing a dull-eyed glance over his shoulder. “Hey, hey, can you go back to trying to say other words or what? You almost had that statement earlier. _Are you okay._ Remember?”

“A... Ahn...” The zombie makes a weird, uncertain noise. “Um.”

“Whatever. My name and _hope_ it is. Even though that’s such a shitty combination.”

He retrieves his bag, rummaging through for canned foods.

“Well, whatever. Nearly fucking dying makes a guy hungry. For repayment of earlier, I’ll give you this tuna can I found.” He waves the can in question. “Does that sound good?”

The zombie’s eyes were sparkling, smile wide and splitting.

“Yasuke...!”

That expression—was definitely grateful. Almost tearfully so.

_Could it be—that even before becoming a zombie, this guy was a total fucking weirdo and a needy little fucker?_

Well.

Whatever.

Matsuda opens the can and hands it over.

“Here. Eat up.”

The zombie was only more irredeemably happy when eating. And he ate quickly, as Matsuda noticed when he munches on a few rations for himself.

_Like a puppy... All that’s missing is the wagging tail._

And when all the tuna was eaten, the zombie gave him the biggest, dumbest grin.

“Thank you, Yasuke!”

_Ah. There it is._

“You’re not completely hopeless,” he said blankly.

“Hope?” Those mismatched eyes were alit.

“Hush.” Matsuda tossed one last ration into his mouth. “So can you tell me your name now, yay or nay?”

“...Yasuke?” His head just tilts.

“If you don’t, I’m going to come up with a really embarrassing nickname for you instead. I can’t just think of you as _the zombie_ this entire time.” When the other still seemed hopelessly confused, Matsuda mulled it over. “Lessee... How about...”

He stares, directing his gaze to that long, wispy white hair.

“Peter Cottontail...maybe?”

“Uu?”

_It’s like I just spoke to someone who doesn’t understand my language._

“...Lucky?”

Blink. And the zombie perks up.

“B-Because,” Matsuda managed, flustering. “That you showed up after that building collapsed when I otherwise would’ve died because I got surrounded on both sides... That’s really _lucky_ , right?”

“Lucky...” The zombie blinks again and then brightens up. “Ah! Lucky! Luck! I’m _Luck_!”

“You’re...luck?” Matsuda made a face. “Oi, oi, what the hell does that mean?”

“Lucky! Lucky!”

“Right...” _What even the fuck? Urgh. Whatever._ “Lucky, it is. Nice to meet you, Lucky.”

“Yasuke!” Lucky exclaimed with the utmost glee.

“Lucky,” Matsuda returned less than enthusiastically.

“Yasuke!”

“Lucky.”

“Yaaaaasuke!”

“Luuuuucky.”

Lucky laughed in delight, clapping his hands. It was, regrettably, a lot cuter of a gesture than it had any right to be.

_It kinda pisses me off._ A pause. _Ah. Speaking of which I need to pee._

“Hey, Lucky, can you do me a favor and turn around? Watching me bathe is one thing, but watching a dude piss is just a little weird.”

“Yasuke!”

“...right.”

Well.

What _ever_.

* * *

“Alright...where to go...”

“Oh...?”

“Go. Yeah. I grabbed this map.” Matsuda points to a spot on it. “I assume we’re here, but I honestly can’t fucking tell. To be honest with you, I can’t understand this for shit. A body map is one thing but topography is just...not my field. At like, all. Before all this, I fucking hated going outside for any reason, so... Yeah.”

“Yasuke?” Lucky asks.

“I’m not sure how I survived this long either,” Matsuda answered. “Stubbornness, maybe? Or sheer dumb fucking luck.”

“Oh! Luck!”

“That’s right, Lucky. Gold star for you.”

“Luck!”

“Great job.”

_Now where were we?_

He turned his attention back to the map, grimacing.

_I wonder if cajoling Lucky into eating this thing would give him a good sense of direction. No, what the hell am I thinking. This isn’t a manga. Zombies don’t work like that in this shitty setting. Maybe I should eat the map instead._

Somehow, he doubted that would actually help. Still, he considered it for longer than anyone would like to admit.

“...well. It’s not like it really matters where we go in a world like this,” Matsuda muttered, brushing his hair back idly. “Everything’s busted up and broken anyway.”

“Uu?” Lucky blinked a few times before staring hard at the map, face scrunching up. “Mm.”

_...come to think of it._

“Do you think that if we returned to Hope’s Peak that more of your memories would return?”

Lucky perked up.

“Hope?”

“It’s clearly not an impossibility,” Matsuda said. “So why not test it out? It might be a bit of a hassle, but—I think at this point, it shouldn’t be too bad.”

_Hope’s Peak... How long has it been? Years? I already lost track of the months._

“Mm...?” Lucky makes a face before smiling. “Hope!”

“Guess that settles it then.”

Matsuda holds up the map, humming as he does.

_Getting there’s gonna be ass...but we might as well. It’s not like I have anywhere else to go._

“Yasuke!” Lucky exclaimed happily.

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s decided, then.”

_We might as well._

* * *

He hasn’t actually traveled with someone else before, so he wasn’t sure what he expected. Thankfully, Lucky wasn’t noisy the entire time. Sometimes, Lucky would get weirdly worked up but for the most part—it wasn’t too bad.

Lucky, being a zombie, was clumsy, so Matsuda had to help him up a lot as well as lead him through areas requiring more delicate footing through a tight grip on the other’s vest. Lucky was always in high spirits during this, even after Matsuda scolded him for the umpteenth time.

It could be tedious at times, but it really, really wasn’t bad.

Although he still had to cover Lucky with a sheet at night to keep him quiet and from staring at him when he’s trying to sleep.

All in all, perfectly fine. Except now, when it was so hot out that Matsuda felt like melting.

“Urghhh... Fuck...” The sun beating down shimmered in a way that felt a whole lot like mockery. “Lucky, hey...”

“Yasuke?” Lucky blinked at him and was, of course, completely unaffected by the heat. If anything, he seemed confused as to why Matsuda was flushed and panting. “Uu?”

“I guess zombies don’t feel heat...” Matsuda grumbled at that. “Urgh, lucky bastard.”

“Luck!”

“Yeah, luck.”

With that, they kept on walking, climbing until they reached the top of the hill. Overhead, Matsuda could see a small farmhouse with a pretty dry patch of land. There must’ve been a garden at one point, but instead, it was overrun with weeds like all the other buildings he’d seen.

Both of them were quiet as Matsuda looked it over once more. After a while, Matsuda simply shrugged, tugging at his shirt collar awkwardly.

“We should probably check it out, huh?”

“Hope!”

“Yeah,” Matsuda sighed. “Let’s hope for the best, Lucky.”

* * *

The door’s unlocked but it’s difficult to push open, so Matsuda ends up shoving it off the hinges. It smacks against the ground, and Matsuda is nonplussed as both he and Lucky step around it.

“There doesn’t seem to be anyone here,” he says. “Nothing living nor undead, considering how quiet it is.”

Lucky is quiet save from his heavy footsteps. The inside of the house is stale, of course, with the smell of mildew and mold, and also a lot of dust. If the greenery outside hadn’t been enough of a clue, Matsuda was now sure about it having been abandoned for a while now. Still, Matsuda’s gaze flickers about sharply as he treads further inside, twirling a small pocket knife between his fingers just in case.

“...mm...”

Lucky makes a brief, almost thoughtful sound, but he doesn’t say anything. Matsuda checks all the rooms, and he doesn’t find anyone. Not even a corpse.

_They must’ve already packed up and left. Huh._

The furniture is considerably worn and discolored, but it’s also dusty and stiff from disuse. All things considered, not the worst place for temporary shelter, especially with the heat being what it was. Not to mention...

Dusty or not, a bed was a bed and Matsuda was not about to let the chance to sleep on a bed again slip right by.

“There’s even a room you can stay in if you want,” he tells Lucky. “But it’s not like I expect you to appreciate that.”

Lucky blinks at him.

“Yeah. I thought so.”

With all that said and done, he unpacked things a little and scoured the pantries and drawers. Surprisingly, there were various spices and the like. Unsurprisingly, there wasn’t much to eat. But if it was a farm at one point, there surely had to be seeds somewhere at least.

_Well. I don’t exactly have the time to grow anything though. Not to mention it’ll be a hassle._

Temporary stay it was. What a shame but also completely expected.

While rummaging through, he eventually realizes that there’s a carefully folded up note on one of the tables.

_A goodbye note?_

Matsuda unfolds it and reads.

“ _By the time this is read, I will likely already be_... _I decided that I will go into the forest..._ ” His eyes skim through as he trails off. Matsuda grimaced deeply. “Ah. So that’s what happened. Well. That’s unfortunate.”

He refolds it, returning it to its proper place.

Lucky was staring at him, eyes wide and bright. Matsuda suddenly felt a lot more exhausted as he patted the other’s head.

“I’m...gonna go lay down for a bit, alright? Sorry.”

He brushes past.

“It’ll just be for a little while.”

* * *

_For not the first nor will it be the last time, I can’t help but wonder how I’m going to end up dying in a world like this._

Matsuda stares blankly at the ceiling, shifting in the bed. It was a little stiff, but still far more comfortable than the cold hard ground. And yet, he was finding it difficult to immediately fall asleep. How annoying.

_If the disease isn’t cured...if the man-eating monsters never go away... How will things end for me? Should I just...end it myself?_

For not the first time, he wondered, rubbing his throat.

_That would be such an utterly miserable end. But for a guy like me, would it really be so bad?_

He wondered. Until the door creaked open.

“Yasuke?”

Matsuda only sighed.

“Lucky,” he said, waving the other over. “So about ten minutes was how much you could tolerate, huh? Damn, you’re so beyond fucking needy.”

He says that, and he still ruffles Lucky’s hair after Lucky makes his way to the bedside. Lucky relishes in the affectionate touch as always, even as Matsuda’s expression fades.

“...what about you?”

_Come to think of it..._

“If you never regain your memories...or...even if you do... What’s gonna come after that? Will you even be able to survive? Any other human would probably start shooting.” Matsuda pulled back, voice lowering. “Unless the effects of the disease can be reversed... Things are never gonna go back to how they used to be... Especially not for you.”

Of course, Lucky didn’t understand that. Not in his current state. He just kept smiling without a care, and it was a little painful.

_Never thought I’d live the day where I felt this bad for a zombie._

“Hey... If I do end up dying...” His hands fist into the sheets. “I would like for someone to set up a funeral or something. But you might not be able to do that, huh, Lucky...” Matsuda’s lips twisted. “In that case... Just... Eat me. It really doesn’t matter, but... I’d hate to die and be unable to do anything else for you.”

_I wonder if a zombie can even starve. Well, even if they can’t... It’ll still be something. Something._

With that, Matsuda laid back down. To his slight surprise, Lucky laid his head on the bed as well, atop his folded arms. Matsuda ruffled his hair once more, chuckling softly.

“...thanks for listening.”

_Good luck to both of us._

* * *

After resting for a bit and gathering whatever Matsuda could find within a close radius, the two of them inevitably had to resume traveling. They had to get to the school, after all, and it would be a long trek. So they’d need more stopping places where they could either stock up or eat.

Today, Matsuda was sick of canned food and rations. Luckily, there was a pier to fish from. Just like with the bed, he was quick to take advantage of it. He already had a fishing rod packed.

Lucky meanwhile, leaned over and stared at the water’s shimmering surface like a curious cat, even dipping his fingers into it.

“Don’t fall in,” Matsuda said sharply, yanking him back none too gently. Lucky landed harshly on his rump, but he wasn’t bothered by that, unsurprisingly. “Don’t eat the bait either, got it? Otherwise I’ll kill you.”

Lucky blinks at him as he impales said bait that he personally had to dig up. Matsuda simply casts his line.

“Don’t do it,” he said. “Or I’ll kill you.”

Lucky’s head tilts, and Matsuda just fishes in silence. There was nothing to do except wait. It was tedious and boring, but he guessed it was weirdly calming, too.

“Uu?”

“Are you curious?” he asked. “There’s not much to it. Just pulling back and reeling in whatever takes a bite. I bet even a zombie could do it. Hm.” He thought about it. “A zombie fishing...might be entertaining.”

He got a bite and quickly reeled it back. Disappointingly, he came back with a fish that would barely qualify as a snack. Always one to roll with the punches, Matsuda stored it anyway.

“It’s a lot of waiting. But also a lot of luck.”

“Luck?”

“Yeah...” Matsuda turned to him, offering the rod. “Do you want to give it a try, Lucky?”

Lucky’s eyes lit up, and he was all too eager. With that decided, Matsuda impaled the bait once more and directed Lucky how to cast. After that, he pulled back to observe. Lucky seemed adorably focused, lips puckered and gaze intense.

“If you drop the rod into the water, I’ll kill you.”

He’s pretty sure Lucky didn’t hear him—not that he would’ve understood him anyway, but it seemed like the fire in Lucky’s eyes only blazed brighter. Matsuda snorted into his hand, drawing in his knees to rest his cheek against them.

“You’ve done this before,” he said, realizing it almost belatedly. “Even if your mind doesn’t remember, it seems muscle memory is intact. Interesting.”

_I already knew that was somewhat the case with zombies but even so, that’s a good thing._

There was a tug at the line and Lucky immediately snapped up. Matsuda watched with interest as he reeled in and pulled with all his might.

_Wait, is it big—?_

Matsuda stood up, moving to help Lucky, and then whatever it was on the other line yanked hard enough for Lucky to go splashing into the water, rod and all.

_...huh?_

Matsuda stares at the rippling water where Lucky used to be. There’s distorted shadows and bubbles rising to the top. And then, there isn’t.

Matsuda immediately dove in without a second thought. Thankfully, he’s able to find purchase on Lucky’s arm and is able to swim back up until he breaks the surface, gasping as he holds Lucky close. He manages to get to shore, coughing up water. For what it’s worth, Lucky is coughing a little, too.

The rod is nowhere to be found. They’re both soaked to the bone and shivering, or maybe that’s just Matsuda. He knows for sure that his teeth are chattering.

“S-Sorry... I didn’t realize that you couldn’t swim...”

_Is that because he’s a zombie, or...?_

“Y...” Another weak cough. Lucky’s eyes are shimmering. “Y-Yasuke... U-Uu...”

“You’re not going to cry, are you? Geez, it’s no big deal.” Matsuda sighed. “Fishing rods are actually really easy to make. I could probably use the materials around here. I’m not going to kill you over that.”

“Uu... S...” Another cough. “S-Sorry...”

For a moment, Matsuda was still and quiet.

Finally, he just ruffled the other’s hair.

“Come on,” he said. “You’ll catch your death like this. Maybe. Or. At least I will. _Maybe_.”

* * *

He definitely sneezed as he stripped, but he had a spare change of clothes, at least. As a matter of fact, he had a good number of clothes. And Lucky was still sitting sullenly on the log in his soaking, ruined uniform as he stared at the campfire.

“You’re not at danger of getting sick, probably,” Matsuda said. “Idiots don’t get sick. But that uniform is beyond raggedy at this point, even I’m disgusted by it. So get changed.”

He tossed him clothes to wear instead.

“That’s not a big deal, right?”

In response, Lucky immediately begins to undress, blazer sliding down his shoulder before he pulls off the student vest underneath. Matsuda watches, not to be a creep, but out of curiosity. That turns out to be mistake when the sight of a ghastly bite mark that took out a chunk of Lucky’s shoulder ended up making him feel a little ill.

_Maybe it’s a good thing that the earlier fishing was a bust. Urgh._

Despite that, he does notice a few other things about Lucky. Less revolting things, thank god. Like about how bony he really was, and how all over he was so pale it was as if his body never knew sunlight. Also his ass had a dimple. He wasn’t sure what he’d do with that information but he now had it.

_...bite and zombification aside, he’s not bad to look at._

Ah. And he just crossed the line between curiosity and just being a creep. That in mind, Matsuda looked away as Lucky got dressed in his clothes. He waited dutifully, tugging at his shirt collar as he did.

“Yasuke?”

“Ah, done? That’s...” Matsuda trailed off as he turned back, noticing. “Oh.”

_They’re too big. They’re noticeably too big._

There was no way getting around how baggy it was on Lucky’s slender body, but... For now, it would have to do.

_At least he doesn’t look bad. Still. Urgh. How inconvenient._

“Does that at least feel better?” he asked. “Or does it not make a difference?”

Lucky just stares at him, not understanding.

“Well. Whatever. You look better like this. Even if the size isn’t quite right.”

_When we get the opportunity, I’ll find something more fitting._

For now, they should probably eat. Fishing was a bust, but thankfully Matsuda did find some crabs on the beach and cooked those. He had to break their shells for both himself and for Lucky, but it wasn’t too bad. While Lucky eats, Matsuda thoroughly dries off his hair until it’s at its normal puffy fluffiness.

After all that, it’s late enough that he wraps Lucky up in the usual sheet and puts him to sleep. However, Matsuda hesitates when he happens to glance at the damp heap that had been Lucky’s school uniform. He ends up picking up pieces to observe.

_This thing really has seen better days. Not unlike the school itself._

The blazer was heavier than he expected, and it turned out the reason why was because Lucky carried around his old student handbook. Just. Because. Of course, the water rendered it damn near illegible, not like Matsuda wanted to read it anyway. Except it might’ve had Lucky’s actual name in it. And, indeed, there was something scribbled in the front but even without the water damage, the actual handwriting was god fucking awful.

“...eda...? As in _branch_? Is that part of a name or a shitty poem?” He squinted at it, but it was no good. He couldn’t make heads or tails of it at all. “Urgh... Lucky...”

Lucky was still quiet, at least. Lucky might’ve actually been sleeping. If zombies could sleep. If zombies could sleep, Matsuda wondered if they could dream.

_Considering how much higher thinking Lucky’s capable of, it’s possible. But what would he even dream about?_

Well. It’s not like there wasn’t plenty to help create nightmares. Matsuda knew that pretty well, even if the idea of dippy, ditzy Lucky waking up in a cold, unpleasant sweat was...not great.

_I’m concerning myself with stupid shit again._

He redirected his gaze towards Lucky’s uniform. His scowl deepened.

_Hope’s Peak was such a wretched place._

He paused.

_But... If I had known about Lucky back then, would it have really been so bad...?_

He shook his head.

_Well. It doesn’t matter. This is the world we live in now. And Lucky’s just some weird zombie. Although...maybe, just maybe, he can completely regain his humanity. That’s a far-off dream but—actually, maybe I could help make something like that happen. I would just need to equipment. Maybe one day... That’ll happen. If it did, it’d be nice... But for now..._

For now, he really needed to burn this stupid thing. Lucky most certainly had no further use for it. Matsuda’s clothes were fine enough.

Matsuda slept a lot better next to Lucky once he no longer had to worry.

* * *

Even though they really were fortunate enough as to not come across other zombies for a while, other things could still go very wrong. Such as the weather.

Downpours could be a hassle when there was barely any good shelter.

But, dry spells and heat waves could be just plain killer.

That said.

The snow was by far the worst.

“ _Urghhh_ , cold!”

He was glad he managed to salvage some coats and scarves from the last cottage they stayed at. He even bundled up Lucky for prosperity’s sake. Still, he’s beyond pissed at how much the chill was making his teeth chatter even as he rubbed his arms furiously.

“Urgh, urgh, urghhhh, whose fucking fault _iiiis_ this? Are they sadistic?!” Matsuda slurred his words a bit, tugging at his scarf and pulling down his knitted cap. “Guh, this is beyond awful. I _haaaaate_ it.”

Lucky bumped into him. Even the cold was getting to him, unsurprisingly, making his steps sloppier and more sluggish.

“It really is the worst,” Matsuda rambled on. “Don’t you think so? Lucky?”

Rather than answer, Lucky tripped and face-planted into the snow. Matsuda stopped dead in his tracks, realizing.

_His body doesn’t produce heat. That means his joints can freeze. And when that happens, he won’t be able to move._

He’s quick to gather Lucky into his arms, cursing at how much Lucky felt more like a block of ice than a person.

“Dammit, _dammit_...” He maneuvers Lucky so that he can carry him more easily on his back in spite of Lucky’s slumped form. “Hey, hey for now, stay with me, alright? Leech off my body heat if you can. I’ll just produce more. It’s no big deal.”

“...asu...”

The word was muffled and mumbled. Weak. Matsuda quickened his pace. It wasn’t difficult. Lucky was obscenely light in terms of weight.

“Stay with me.” Without even realizing why or even questioning it, Matsuda’s words and tone had become pleading. “Just _stay_ with me, alright?”

“...mm...”

It sounded like an agreement, so he’d hold Lucky to it. There was no way in hell he’d let Lucky slip through his fingers now.

_I’m not going to be left alone again after all this. I **refuse**._

* * *

He finds a cave that the two of them could use to block out the cold. He starts a fire and wraps himself and Lucky up in the thick insulating comforter that he’s always been the most fond of.

They’re both quiet as Matsuda watches the flickering flames and hopes for the best even in this situation.

“...y’know, it’s been a long time since I was close to another person.”

Lucky doesn’t answer. In fact, Lucky seems to still be out of it. Or at least resting. He hoped Lucky was just resting against his shoulder. For the sake of his sanity, he continues to act as though such was the case.

“It’s weird. Being with someone and being in the position that you have someone you don’t want to lose. It’s such a stupid feeling and yet... It’s one I wouldn’t give up for the world.”

Matsuda sighed, leaning against Lucky in return.

“This wouldn’t have happened if not for a literal zombie apocalypse though.” He snorted, a dry smile pulling at his lips. “I guess even good things can come from a shitty situation like that... Or maybe I just got lucky. Who even knows?”

_Luck... Hope... How long has it been since I placed any real value in such fickle, faulty concepts?_

“You really haven’t been bad to be around,” he went on. “And I can actually trust you, because I know what to expect at this point. It’s nice...not having to worry that someone you depend on for survival might end up betraying you for whatever stupid reason.”

_Though I sound more like an idiot for even talking about this to someone who can’t understand it. Hah. I almost envy Lucky. His existence seems simpler, but... I say that, and there’s still so much I don’t understand about it. Like...why he latched onto me, of all people? We weren’t friends. I’ve never spoken to him before. Why me?_

Matsuda’s frown deepened as he pondered it.

_Was I just some far-off crush? Even then, that’s just...so trivial. Geez, Lucky, weren’t there more **important** people to you?_

Haaah. It didn’t matter. It really didn’t matter. He wouldn’t know the answers until Lucky remembered enough to explain. And yet, it really fucking bothered him.

Matsuda bit the inside of his cheek before letting his eyes fall shut.

_There should’ve been so much more to live for._

* * *

He wakes up because something obscenely cold presses against his cheek, earning him to shudder.

“Yasuke?”

“ _Fuck_ , you’re already feeling better?!”

He pushes himself up, grimacing at his cracking joints before rifling through his bag for the water. He drinks some and then pours it in the lid to offer to Lucky. Lucky takes it, something Matsuda notes with slight relief.

_It’s warmed enough that he can move._

Lucky sips almost demurely. Then, he notices Matsuda tiredly smiling at him. For whatever reason, he drops the lid and spills the water. Matsuda immediately snatches it back up, wearing his usual scowl.

“Be careful! Waste is the highway to death under these circumstances! You’re lucky that I can just melt the snow!”

“...sorry.” Lucky’s head ducks. “I’m sorry, Yasuke.”

Matsuda can only sigh and pours him more in the lip before handing it over once more.

“It’s not a big deal. Just be more careful, alright?”

Lucky takes it and hurriedly downs the water. Matsuda made a face.

_That doesn’t mean you should push yourself like that. Geez._

“Lu... Hey.”

Lucky perks up, and Lucky smiles as always.

“Yasuke.”

_...Yasuke..._

“The second you remember your actual name,” Matsuda says. “Can you tell me what it is?”

Lucky blinks at him.

“It’s just...” He rubs at the nape of his neck. “I want to call you by name someday. Sooner rather than later.” He glances at him, surprisingly sheepish. “Is that alright?”

Lucky dropped the lid again. At least nothing spilled that time.

“Geez, you really are such a klutz.” Matsuda retrieves the lid screwing it back onto the thermos. “Maybe it’s a hopeless endeavor either way. Well, whatever. I still meant what I said.”

Lucky didn’t say anything to that.

“...anyway,” Matsuda went on, the blush from the cold getting darker. “I really should melt some snow while we’re here. Yeah... Yeah.”

“Yeah,” Lucky echoed almost mindlessly. For once, Matsuda didn’t notice.

* * *

For whatever reason, Lucky was still sullen and quiet after Matsuda had melted the snow. It was both confusing and worrying, but Lucky would still smile at him when he asked about it. Lucky just—didn’t speak as much as he usually did.

It really was...aggravatingly confusing and worrying. But truth be told, Matsuda was shit at talking to people, and he had a feeling that he’d be worse at it with someone who could barely talk in the first place. So for now, he just sulked about it, his own bad mood simmering like bubbles on the surface.

Unsurprisingly, Lucky didn’t notice. Not like that was a surprise, considering just how bad Lucky always was at reading the mood.

_I shouldn’t expect much from a zombie anyway._

Matsuda paused, mulling over that thought.

_But... Lucky’s not just a zombie._

“...um.”

_I’ve known from the beginning. There’s a human there, even if it’s only in fragments._

“Yasuke... Um.”

Matsuda perked up, immediately turning to him.

“...do you have something to say?”

Under his serious stare, it was as if Lucky faltered. Just like how any human would.

_What even is the line...between human and zombie...? And what should be done about people who haven’t quite crossed it? Wouldn’t it be wrong to just brush that humanity aside when it’s still clinging to the person?_

“...mm...” Lucky shuffles his feet a bit. “H... Hope. Yasuke... Hope... Yasuke is...”

_Is...?_

“H... Hope.”

Matsuda sighed.

“ _I’m_ hope? Is that really what you’re trying to say? Sorry, but that’s definitely not true.”

Lucky frowned at him.

“It’s not,” he insisted. “After the world fell apart, my future fell with it. You can’t exactly continue your medical studies when everything’s gone to shit. As much as I would like to keep working, that hasn’t gone well for me.”

“H-Hope!” Lucky exclaimed. “Hope, Yasuke, _hope_!”

“Easy to say,” Matsuda muttered bitterly. “Especially when your brain’s half-rotted.”

**_...ah._ **

Lucky was still frowning at him defiantly. It really was as if Lucky truly didn’t register a word he said. Or he was just being stubborn.

Matsuda bit his lower lip and hurriedly turned away.

“Just...forget it. Just forget about it. You’ve already forgotten everything else.”

“Yasuke...!”

_It really is like he doesn’t understand. He just sounds like he’s reprimanding me._

“Lucky, please. I _don’t_ want to talk about it.”

Lucky shuts his mouth, but his eyes are glittering with a resolve he hasn’t even seen in most people. Sighing, the two of them continued to walk onward, with Lucky following him but staying just a little far behind.

For a while, the two of them were quiet save for the snow crushed beneath their feet.

Matsuda thought things over as they walked, picking at the inside of his cheek with his teeth.

“...honestly... I definitely was making excuses back then. That was pretty shitty and more than enough reason for anyone to get frustrated with me.”

_I’m not so immature that I can’t admit that._

“It’s difficult,” he said, sighing. “It’s really difficult, but... Honestly it’s always been difficult. If I just give up then I wouldn’t have been worth any salt as a doctor. I...guess I really shouldn’t give up, then.”

Lucky perks up, eyes wide.

“What I’m saying is,” Matsuda goes on. “I’ll work harder, not just for my own sake but for yours too, alright?” He turns back, meeting Lucky’s gaze briefly. “So you can continue to rely on me without worry, alright?”

Lucky’s eyes were practically sparkling.

“Ah... Ah...! I-I...! M... Ma...!”

Matsuda hurriedly turned away, flustered.

“T-That’s all there is to it! There’s nothing to be excited over!” He huffed, looking forward and focusing so as to keep himself on track. “That’s...”

“...tsu...”

Matsuda’s eyes went wide as he realized there were two figures up ahead. And one of them—

“...da-kun... I lo...!”

Matsuda tackled Lucky to the ground just as a gunshot rang out, and both of their bodies went crashing back down into the snow.

* * *

“...da-kun...? M-Matsuda-kun...?”

Matsuda was shaking, face damp with sweat. When Matsuda’s hand pulled from his side, his palm was slick with red.

He could only blink once. Twice. As Matsuda grimaced.

“...R-Run.”

“Matsuda-kun...?”

“Lucky... Y-You gotta run. They were aiming for you.” Matsuda pushed himself up, trembling all the while so that he could wiggle his way out from under Matsuda’s body. Matsuda yelled at him. “Hurry up and **_RUN_** , Lucky!”

Shaking, he couldn’t do anything but obey even as the tears flowed when he heard Matsuda collapse behind him.

* * *

Crunching steps. A pair of people rushing through the snow.

“What the actual **_FUCK_** just happened, Souda?!?!”

“I don’t know, Kuzuryuu, I seriously don’t! I swear I was aiming for the zombie following the guy but he just—he just flung himself in the way! I don’t get it! I absolutely don’t get it!”

“It probably WASN’T a zombie then, you fucking idiot! It was a guy! You just _shot_ a guy!”

“No, it was! I’m _sure_ of it! I’m absolutely sure...!”

“If it were a zombie then it wouldn’t have ran away! Zombies don’t **_run away_**!”

“B-But I... I swear... I...”

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, fucking shit...!” Kuzuryuu cursed colorfully as they finally reached the body. The poor fucker had collapsed clutching where he’d been shot, and it must’ve hurt like an absolute bitch. Kuzuryuu grimaced in sympathy, coming closer to check the other’s pulse. To his absolute relief, there was one. “Okay. He’s alive. But he might not be for much longer. We gotta get him back to base.”

“R-Right...”

Souda was still shaken up, both from the situation and from being yelled at. Kuzuryuu sighed, wanting to say a million other things about it—but it really, seriously wasn’t the time.

“Come on, Souda,” he only huffed. “You gotta be gentle when it comes to bullet wounds. Thankfully for your idiot ass, it doesn’t seem like you hit anything vital. For once, it’s a good thing you’re just a horrible fucking shot.”

“...y-yeah...good thing... Let... Let’s just hurry with him, Kuzuryuu... Tsumiki can take care of this.”

“Yeah, yeah...”

Turning back to the stranger, Kuzuryuu spoke softly even though he probably wouldn’t have been heard anyway.

“You really are one _lucky_ son of a bitch.”

* * *

“Matsuda-kun! There you are! Headmaster Kirigiri was asking for you!”

“I’m on break.”

“Break?” Murasame grimaced at him. “Matsuda-kun, you can’t just ignore the headmaster because you’re on break.”

“That you’re continuing to cut in my very valuable break time is extremely cold-hearted, prez,” Matsuda huffed at him, cracking his neck and stretching, joints popping. “Urgh. I pull how many damn all-nighters for this school and _this_ is the treatment I get?”

For what it was worth, Murasame did flinch at that.

“...I’m sure whatever the headmaster has to say, it’s important.” An awkward pause. “But, tell you what. I’ll treat you for dinner later. You have done a lot and, well...” Murasame smiles. “I guess as the student council president, I should show my appreciation.”

“You’re the only valid bastard in this school, prez.”

“I do wish you’d speak a bit more politely,” Murasame said, sighing. “You’re supposed to be a doctor, Matsuda-kun, shouldn’t you act more professional?”

“When I’m getting paid jack and shit?” Matsuda stuck out his tongue. “Not a fucking chance.”

“Well... Truth be told, the world would probably end if you weren’t crude.” Murasame chuckled. “But, I should get going. Please go see Headmaster Kirigiri as soon as possible, alright?” A wink. “I’ll pick you up after the council meeting, I promise.”

Matsuda flashed him a thumbs-up, waving as Murasame went on his way. He watches him leave, lips twitching.

“...he’s really not a bad guy...”

Matsuda rubs at his nape, sighing heavily, finally letting fatigue show more blatantly on his face.

“I’m really, honestly not sure how much more of this I can take. What am I even working on all these weird experiments for? I’m not even being told everything.”

_I really dread having to talk to the headmaster, too, because he’s just going to expect me to agree to more shit I don’t fully understand. Urgh._

Matsuda pinched the bridge of his nose, taking in a deep breath before exhaling softly.

_...I don’t really have a choice in the matter either way. Still, what am I doing...?_

“A-Ah, excuse me?”

Matsuda perked up with a hum, turning back and staring with exhausted, unimpressed eyes.

“Matsuda... Yasuke-kun?”

“Yeah?” Matsuda’s frown deepened, slightly irritated with the long, curly red-brown hair that hid this person’s eyes from view. “Do you want an autograph or a brain scan?”

“Do you remember me?”

“Am I supposed to?”

“Ah, I suppose not, no, there’s no reason why you would remember someone as menial as myself.” He laughs weakly and self-deprecatingly. “But, I... I was a patient of yours a few years ago. I-It’s really nice to meet you... I’ve completely recovered as a result of your brilliant treatment...”

_I’ve done so many treatments on so many patients that they’ve all blurred together._

Years ago, he might’ve actually really been touched by a former patient’s recovery. He would’ve been happy enough to celebrate. But now, he’s just exhausted.

“You need to keep taking care of yourself,” he said. “You may see yourself as menial, but all lives have an understated meaning to them.”

This person flinches, cheeks coloring.

“Oh, but, compare to someone like Matsuda-kun, I just...!”

“Oi,” Matsuda cut in. “Don’t compare yourself to other people like that. That’s unproductive as shit. Focus on what you can do or whatever. I’m not a therapist.”

“Ah... Um...” That smile wobbles, breath catching. “Thank you, Matsuda-kun... Thank you for everything...”

“You do realize that I don’t even know your name, right?”

“O-Oh! Of course! Of course...!” He brushes his hair back, eyes shut as he laughs helplessly. His face isn’t terrible to look at, but Matsuda was too busy trying to not pass out on his feet to pay too much attention. Still, he does notice, staring blearily at the other’s lips as he speaks. “I-I’m... I’m, uh... Komaeda... Nagi...to...”

“Komaeda, huh? Interesting name.”

“Ah, thank...you...”

Suddenly, a scream rings out. Matsuda snaps up.

“Shit... Did someone get hurt?!”

“M-Matsuda-kun...! _Wait_!!!”

Ignoring the other, Matsuda immediately rushed towards the direction of the scream. For whatever reason, he nearly knocked over someone who seemed frozen with shock and horror.

Matsuda’s gaze rose, and right then, right there, he saw someone tearing into another person’s throat with abandon. When they looked up, tongue hanging grotesquely from their mouth, teeth and jaw splattered with blood and gore, Matsuda felt his mind go blank.

_And just like that... Everything I knew, everything I gave so much for and worked so hard to achieve, came crashing down._

* * *

Slowly but surely, Matsuda’s eyes flutter open.

“A-Ah, you’re awake...!”

Some strange girl with tied back, purple hair is leaning over him. She seems flustered, near tearful, and she’s shaking all over. It’s like something out of a movie.

Matsuda let out a low, pained groan.

“God... It’s like something took a chunk out of me.”

“Y-You were shot,” she stammers. “I-It was really bad, but... But you survived...!” She sniffled. “I’m so glad...! Souda-san and Kuzuryuu-san are going to be so happy to hear that...!”

“...that beyond pitiful sniveling...” Matsuda blinked once. Twice. “Don’t I _know_ you?”

“D-Do you?! I-I’m not really someone that anyone would know...! Unless...!” she gasps sharply. “W-Wait... A... Are you Matsuda Yasuke-san?!” Her hands clasp. “F-From Hope’s Peak?! Top of the class?! Studying neurology?! I-I was in the healthcare committee...! T-Tsumiki Mikan! You remember me?!”

“I... Yeah.” _I remember your wailing. Urgh. My head._ “Small world.”

“A lot of people from Hope’s Peak are actually staying in this base,” Tsumiki murmured sheepishly, fiddling with her fingers. “Um, it’s currently being run b-by... Ah, Munakata-san... He’s a graduate... H-He’s really stern and scary but... T-That you’re here... That’s good news for sure...! Matsuda-san is incredibly, um, impressive, so...”

_So Hope’s Peak hasn’t completely crumbled._

How is he supposed to feel about that?

_Hope’s Peak... It really is lucky to have been able to find what seems to be the remains of it. That’s really lucky._

**_Lucky._ **

“M-Matsuda-san?” Tsumiki blinks wide doe eyes at him, head tilting. “I-Is something wrong...? Are you in a lot of pain?”

Matsuda stares down blankly, lifting his open shirt to see the line of scarring and stitching from where the bullet had pierced him. Even though it hurt like hell and had been a close call, he really was lucky to have survived. Tsumiki still seemed to be incredibly anxious.

“...you did well with this,” he finally said, sighing. “Good needlework.”

“O-Oh! It was...” Tsumiki smiles wide, giddy and still trembling like a leaf. “I-It was nothing...! T-To have Matsuda-san praise me...! Huehuehue...”

Matsuda’s fingers brush over the stitching as she giggles.

“A-Ah... Just rest, alright, Matsuda-san?” she asks cheerily. “You don’t want to tear those stitches after all. That would be bad!”

“They are nicely done stitches,” Matsuda said quietly. “I’d hate to ruin them.”

“R-Right?! So, um... Feel free to rest some more! Oh! Are you hungry? Um, the food here is actually really good...”

“I don’t have much of an appetite right now.”

“Still! You should eat something!”

_She’s a lot more energetic now._

She had these sparkling expectant eyes, hands clasped. She’s so eager that he really can’t help but think about someone else.

“Yeah... I should. Then...something small...should be fine!”

“Right away...!”

Tsumiki scampers off, and Matsuda’s shoulders slouch.

_I’m not in any state to go looking for him._

He fists his hands into the sheets, a shiver going down his spine.

_Hope’s Peak... Hope... I can only hope..._

* * *

“S-So, uh, we... We’re cool, right? I’m Souda Kazuichi, a first class mechanic! And...”

“The guy who feels bad about shooting me.”

“Y-Yeah... Sorry about that, man... Are we cool?”

“As we speak, the wound burns,” Matsuda said through a mouthful of rice. Souda flinched. “But. Yeah. Whatever. I forgive prez for trying to eat my face, so...”

Souda looked almost hopelessly confused, but he hurriedly goes on.

“So, uh, that guy you were with... The one who ran off... He...really looked like a zombie, huh?”

“Yeah. That’s why you tried to shoot him.”

“S-Sorry! No need to glare! You said we were cool!”

Matsuda can only sigh, continuing to chew on his food.

“As soon as I recover enough, I’m gonna have to go find him. Hopefully that idiot hasn’t been buried by the snow by then.”

“Eh? Really? I-I mean... Some guys have been looking for him...”

For what it was worth, Matsuda’s face remained impassive.

“If I call for him, he might come.”

“Like a dog?”

Matsuda swallowed.

“Yeah. I guess.”

“I...” Souda hesitated. “Look, I... I really did think he was a zombie, but... I guess I was wrong. That guy was...”

“My friend,” Matsuda finished for him. “He was my friend, and I have to go find him when I can.”

_I’m at a point where his existence is too important to neglect._

“Oh... I see...”

Souda seemed to be uncomfortable, so Kuzuryuu stepped in.

“Friends are damn invaluable in times like this,” he said to which Souda nodded in hurried agreement. “They’re what keep a guy going.”

Matsuda’s eyes fall shut as he fell into simple silence. Souda and Kuzuryuu began to bicker and by that point, he pretty much tuned them out.

_This is the kind of living where it’d be so easy to settle in. And I couldn’t be less interested._

* * *

All things considered, the base making up of former alumni and staff among others was at least competently ran. People lived together rather harmoniously, getting along rather well.

It wasn’t half-bad.

After his last disastrous experience, it was damn near godsent.

_That said. I can’t relax at all. Even in a room where everyone else is bantering like nothing’s wrong._

“A-Ah, Matsuda-san?”

Matsuda perked up, taking notice of Tsumiki’s fidgeting fingers before her face.

“You seem a bit...distant... Is something wrong? Oh! I-I’m asking as a nurse, of course! I’m not so audacious as to act friendly when we’re not...!”

“I’m thinking of leaving,” Matsuda said. “So distant is about right. Doesn’t make sense to get chummy with people I don’t plan on sticking around with.”

Tsumiki’s eyes go almost comically wide.

“...you mean...after that person who ran off when you were... U-Um...” She bites her lower lip. “With all due respect, y-you’re probably not...going to find him, Matsuda-san... That’s if he’s still alive... I-I’m sorry! But... It’s true...”

“Don’t care. He’s my friend.”

She flinched.

“You... You could make...more friends if you stayed here.”

_I really, intensely doubt that. But even if that were the case..._

“He’s important to me. That’s all there is to it.”

“B-But!”

“I can’t leave him alone,” Matsuda said, cold enough to make Tsumiki freeze. “I don’t fully understand it myself, but I feel that way too strongly to deny it. So as soon as I’m able, I’ll be on my way.”

“I don’t really understand.” Tsumiki laughed weakly and mirthlessly, tangling her fingers into her hair and gripping the strands tight. “T-Then again, I’ve never been that important to anyone. Even with medicine, I’m nothing compared...to someone like you...”

 “I think... I think there’s nothing wrong with leaving the rest of Hope’s Peak in your hands.”

Tsumiki stilled briefly and then very nearly yanked out her hair.

“That person... Are they really not a zombie, Matsuda-san?”

Matsuda said nothing to that.

“M-Matsuda-san...?!”

“Oh, is something going on? Tsumiki-san?”

“Y-Yukizome-san...! I... I-I don’t know! He just stopped talking!” Her gasping hitched on a sob as she began to cry into her hands. “Was it because I said something _wroooong_?! I just don’t knoooow!”

“It could just be that Matsuda-kun is too tired to keep speaking,” Yukizome offered kindly. “In that case, it can’t be helped, right? It’s not your fault, Tsumiki-san. You’re such a kind girl.”

“H-Hic... Y-You really think so...?” Tsumiki sniffled. “Y... Yukizome-san...”

“Now, now, it’s okay.” Yukizome gives her a handkerchief. “Why don’t you go wash your face off, Tsumiki-san? Is that alright?”

“A-Alright...”

Tsumiki cheered up as Yukizome petted her head, giggling and waving as she headed off. Matsuda watched coolly, gaze flickering towards Yukizome’s overly friendly smile before narrowing.

“You really shouldn’t leave,” she said. “We’d all benefit greatly more having you here. Kyousuke’s heard about you. And I have, too. You were quite the talk of the school, weren’t you, Matsuda-kun? One of the most shining symbols of hope.”

“Hope’s Peak was just another stepping stone for me,” Matsuda replied. “But they certainly wrung out everything they could from me. Because. I was such a _genius_.”

“Your services are invaluable. That much is true, Matsuda-kun. You and Kyousuke could work very well together. I know it.”

“...Munakata Kyousuke... He was super involved with the Hope’s Peak staff, too, right?” _Now that I think about it, Murasame mentioned him to me before._ “He planned on expanding the school past the horizon. Shame, then, that the apocalypse happened. Right at the school, too. Such bad luck.”

_Luck..._

“Kyousuke is still doing everything he can for everyone,” Yukizome said. “And you should, too, Matsuda-kun.”

_I’ve been told as much before._

“With all due respect... I have no interest in staying here without him.”

“That’s a shame,” she said. “But it’s not like I don’t understand. When you’re dedicated to someone, the world revolves around them. So much so that you could even _die_ for them, right? Right?”

“I don’t like the idea of dying, but going through hell for them—that’s probably more what it’s like.” Matsuda shrugged. “Well, this place is already hell.”

Yukizome giggled.

“Well. I’m rooting for you. When you find him, please return here safely.”

“...mm...”

All he had to offer was another shrug.

“...eh.”

“Aw. You’re so difficult, Matsuda-kun.”

“ _Eh_.”

* * *

He left the base not long after that.

_The remains of Hope’s Peak... So that’s how things turned out._

He wondered if he should be relieved about that on some level.

_Murasame would’ve been, at least._

He then decided he shouldn’t think about it anymore.

* * *

_When I find him again, what am I going to say?_

In times like this, his thoughts ran rampant.

_What should I tell him? Will he even understand? I don’t care. I just want to find him._

Traveling through the woods was a trek normally, but Matsuda had to search thoroughly just to be sure, calling out for Lucky and trying not to let it get to him when those calls continually went unanswered. He just kept moving until he stumbled out, empty-handed with only aching feet for his efforts.

_Did he go to the site of the school without me? Is that even necessary? The more I think about it—the more I realize how little I want to do with it._

Still, he kept looking and walking, only stopping for breaks when necessary and even then putting it off when he was physically able.

_I only pursued medicine in the first place because of my mom. I studied, I did everything I could and more, and before I knew it, I was being asked more and more._

Lucky hadn’t asked for anything. Lucky was just content being with him.

_It shouldn’t even matter and yet... When I think about how he ran off... I can only imagine his face twisting up in the most unpleasant way. I don’t want the last time we see each other to be that painful. For whatever reason, Lucky was happy just to be near me. And I didn’t mind it, either._

No, screw it. He was happy, too.

_The world... Hope’s Peak... This apocalypse... To hell with it all. I’m not the kind of guy who can move forward purely for the sake of it. I’ll find that idiot even if it’s the last thing I do._

* * *

It’s warmed up considerably. So much so that he can see the grass again save for a few odd patches of snow. There are animals who are coming back out from hibernation, nibbling on the grass and flowers.

_Well, I have plenty to hunt, at least._

As he thought that, several deer darted past along with various other critters. Matsuda made a face.

_Has someone else already started?_

That, or—something else.

_Ah._

Matsuda pulled out his bat, feeling a strange sense of bitter nostalgia. The trees were rustling, the sun was bright, and Matsuda’s grip on the familiar weapon was just a little bit clammy.

_Come to think of it... How long has it been since I even had to defend myself like this?_

For whatever reason—he never had to worry when he was with Lucky. He hadn’t even noticed. Wasn’t that _strange_?

Matsuda maintains a steady pace.

His heart was racing, blood pumping.

He cuts between trees, rustles through bushes, and there’s a raw stench of death in the air. When he finally reaches the source, what he sees is—

Lucky. Couched over a slain deer, tearing into it with fervor, fingers stained with blood and fur.

For a moment, Matsuda freezes, mind flashing to that fateful day, images overlapping as Lucky slowly turned to him, tongue dangling, red smeared across his pale face.

“...Ya...suke...?”

Matsuda’s mind was blank, grip tightening on impulse as Lucky shambled to his feet.

“...suda... Matsuda... Yasuke...”

Drool and blood drip from Lucky’s chin. His gaze was almost crazed, the very irises swirling and dark. Pulsing. Disgusting.

_Lucky. Oh, Lucky._

Matsuda drops the bat just as Lucky lurched forward and embraced him so tightly around the neck that it was suffocating. Both of them stumbling from the force of it, Lucky buried his face into Matsuda’s shoulder and began to wail.

Matsuda dropped to his rump, Lucky still clinging to him. Matsuda sighed, wrapping his arms around the other in return, petting Lucky’s hair as Lucky cried and cried.

“Yeah, it’s alright,” he said. “This time, you can cry as loudly and as long as you want, Lucky. Even though you smell god-fucking awful right now. Just. Don’t hold back.”

Lucky certainly took him up on that.

* * *

Lucky was still sniffling when Matsuda handed him a handkerchief. It wouldn’t do much for the blood, but Lucky did still blow into it after drying his tears.

“...I... I-I... Sorry...” Lucky was trembling, voice hoarse from crying. “Because...of me... Ya... Matsu...”

“You can keep using Yasuke, if you want,” Matsuda said. “I think we’re close enough at this point.”

“U-Uu...” Lucky’s shoulders slumped. “Mm...”

“Lucky... No.” Matsuda sighed. “Your name... It’s Komaeda Nagito, right? We talked before this whole mess started. I remember now. I guess we did know each other, although... Admittedly, I still don’t know much about you.”

The other was quiet and considerably sullen.

“Still,” Matsuda said. “You’re important to me. We’re friends, right?”

“Fri...ends...”

“Right. Friends.” He nodded. “Nagito...”

“Aha. Friends. Friends with... Matsuda Yasuke-kun...” A soft giggle. Weak and unstable. “It’s like a dream... Y... Yasuke is... H-Hope... Hope, hope...”

“Do you remember, Nagito?”

“...Nagito?”

“Lucky. That’s you. Nagito.”

Komaeda frowned at him.

“...um...”

Matsuda blinked once, twice, and he exhaled.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “For leaving you alone for so long. But, get this. Those people were from Hope’s Peak. Small world, huh?”

“Hope’s...? Ah, hope?”

“Yeah. That said... I really don’t trust that place and those people...” Matsuda grimaced. “They don’t seem—bad. But the entire time I was there, I had a not great feeling. Just how was Hope’s Peak involved in how things turned out...? It’s rotten. It feels rotten.”

Komaeda tilted his head, eyes wide and confused. Even when covered in gore, he really did have an unmatched state of innocence.

“So what I’m wondering...is if those memories are worthwhile to uncover... If you wouldn’t just be better off, learning new things and regaining your humanity from that.” Matsuda met his gaze, frown deepening, the blue of his eyes intense. “It’s your call. Because, right now—you’re my priority, Lucky. Komaeda _Nagito_.”

Blink once. Twice. Thrice.

“...I don’t understand, Yasuke.”

“That’s alright. I don’t really understand it myself, but... All the same, I wanted to make my stance on this whole thing clear.” Matsuda rubbed at the nape of his neck. “So...any ideas? Did you still want to go back to where the school once was? Or back to that base? Lucky? Nagito?”

“I-I don’t...” He shivered. “I-I don’t understand.”

Matsuda’s gaze and frown both softened.

“You don’t have to give your answer now. You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you?” His eyes flicker downwards. “After seeing me get shot and having to run from that... I’m sorry. You must have been in a lot of pain.”

“T-That’s—!” Komaeda shook his head furiously. “N... Not your fault...! _Yasuke_...!”

Just like that, the tears spilled over once more.

“N-Not your fault... Not Yasuke’s fault... My fault... Mine...”

“Oi,” Matsuda cut in. “I don’t regret doing it. I’d do it again if I had to. If I _had_ to. I don’t _like_ being shot, but... You getting shot would be really bad, too.”

Komaeda sniffled, dabbing at his eyes.

“...s-stupid...”

“It’s not stupid,” Matsuda huffed. “When you care about someone like that, it’s inevitable.”

“So...stupid...”

Matsuda huffed again, puffing out his cheeks. Komaeda glared at him briefly, but that look soon fell into blank thoughtfulness. After a while, Matsuda got up and offered the other his hand.

“Come on.” He pinches his nose. “You really stink and I can’t stand it. There’s also animal blood all over me. I’m not a fan. Let’s go get washed off, Nagito.”

Komaeda perked up and then he hesitated.

“Yasuke, I...” He took Matsuda’s hand and squeezed. “I want...to be with you... I-I...love you...”

“Yeah? I feel the same.”

Once again, Komaeda sniffled.

“We’re really gonna need to wash your face, huh, Nagito?”

“I’m...lucky...s-so very, very lucky...”

Matsuda could only smile, pulling him up and along.

“Yeah. You are. Lucky. Let’s get going.”

“M-Mm...”

“Come on.”

* * *

The water was unsurprisingly pretty cold, but thankfully Komaeda could still wash his face even if he couldn’t exactly get into the water like Matsuda did.

“Phew, phew.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

Komaeda’s gaze directed downwards at his scarring and stitching. Matsuda blinked at it, running his fingers along the mark before shrugging his shoulders over it.

“It’s no big deal.”

He said that, but Komaeda still looked understandably bummed.

“...is it...really...okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I barely even think about it anymore.”

“...around me...” Komaeda’s head hung. “People get...hurt... Yasuke, too...”

“You already apologized,” Matsuda said. “And I already forgave you. So don’t you think it’s a little insensitive to me to keep dwelling on it?”

Komaeda snapped up, eyes wide and he thought it over.

“Mm...”

“Like I _said_ ,” Matsuda stressed. “It’s no big deal.”

Komaeda was quiet before he finally nodded.

“...I... As long as...Yasuke’s okay...it’s okay.”

_As long as we’re together._

That thought was embarrassing enough that Matsuda just got a little bit flustered.

“D-Don’t forget about yourself, idiot... If you forget... You’ll lose your humanity...”

“Ah... O-Okay.”

Komaeda splashed his face with water a few times, rinsing away the blood. His movements still were clumsy and stiff, but he managed to not topple of the edge.

Matsuda splashed his face as well, finishing up and drying himself off before pulling on some clothing.

“That said, I think we’ll be fine.” He stretches out, joints popping. His stitches sting a little. “As long as we have hope and each other.”

“H... Hope!” Komaeda’s eyes were sparkling. “Yes!”

_Those words are so cheesy that I want to puke. Still, they made him happy._

And really, wasn’t that all that mattered?

_The world may be a dubious and uncertain place...especially right now, but..._

At the very least, he knows that he doesn’t mind continuing to live in it, even if it has to be for a zombie’s sake.

_It’ll be fine. Just fine. As long as we’re together._

“...just... Stick closer to me from now on, alright, Nagito? Lucky?”

“A-Alright!”

_Right now, you might as well be the key to survival._


End file.
